As children develop and grow, motherhood can bring a variety of stressors. New challenges surface while needs and expectations are constantly changing. The stress from motherhood can often be overwhelming despite the joys that it may bring at the exact same time. Being a mother can be one of the most rewarding and amazing experiences while simultaneously being one of the most difficult ones. Mothers love their kids and strive to raise loving, kind humans. Children can bring joy, happiness, hilarity and new experiences on a daily/weekly/hourly basis; despite this joy motherhood can also cause stress and feel overwhelming leaving mothers to wonder if they are doing enough.
Common Stressors of Motherhood
Lack of sleep, financial strain, relationship changes, isolation, guilt and loss of identity are common
stressors mothers are faced with. In the infancy phases, sleep can disappear. Mothers work to keep their child fed and nurtured while ensuring their safety. As children grow, sleep may continue to be problematic due to their child’s sleep difficulties or stressors that motherhood itself may bring. Many mothers report waking up in the middle of the night worrying, feeling guilty and/or attempting to resolve problems or navigate schedules.
The responsibilities a child brings can sometimes make it difficult to maintain relationships mothers previously had. Many mothers report that feelings of guilt and sadness arise as a result of a lack of time, balancing work schedules and less time to nurture other relationships. Isolation and identity changes may begin to set in as a result which can lead to increased frustration, anxiety and/or depression. Mothers may struggle to recognize their life and wonder how to balance this new normal.
So, how can mothers manage stress, preserve their identity, balance motherhood and enjoy their life?
- Identify Priorities, Values and Responsibilities: Consider what you want your life to look like if you were successfully able to manage stress from motherhood. What are your priorities, values and responsibilities as a mother and as an individual? Make a list of these things and begin to think about how you can ensure that they are present in your life. For example, if friends, family, exercise and religion are priorities while motherhood and working as an accountant are your responsibilities, schedule how you can fit these things in. Take a look at a week at a time. Make small goals for yourself and decide how you can manage your time in an effort to attempt to prioritize and enjoy your time, thus, attempting to manage stress from motherhood.
2. Set Boundaries to Reduce the Stress of Motherhood: Once you know what you want your life to look like based on your own value system and responsibilities, decide how and when it is necessary to set boundaries. Communicate your needs with your partner, family, friends, co-workers and others that may be a part of your life. Know what you are capable of giving as well as what you need on a given day in an effort to balance life demands. Some examples of boundaries are:
Your needs are just as important as everyone else’s; however, your family, friends and co-workers are not mind-readers. Communicate how you can work together so that everyone can get what they need and enjoy their lives.
3. Prioritize Tasks To Offset Motherhood Stress: You can’t do it all. As mothers attempt to balance life demands, it is important to prioritize. What NEEDS to be done right now? You may NEED to help your child with their homework, shower, go to the doctor and work on a given day; but do you NEED to clean the counters and fold the laundry?
Leave chores for the next day when you have more time and energy. Although we don’t want to push all responsibilities off, we need to consider our own levels of stress and time (or lack their of); this will help us determine what NEEDS to be done in a given day.
Consider the following examples:
- If you know it is important for you to put your kids to bed and have dinner together, say no (when you can) if other plans may interfere with that.
- If you know you need to have time to read and decompress before bed, schedule time for it; even if it means that you can’t get the new light bulbs that burned out.
- If a friend needs to talk but you are tired, schedule a time that works for you both.
Listen to yourself. Have you done enough? Do you need to rest? Can some of these responsibilities be completed on the weekend or by someone else? You may want to do it all but you can’t and you certainly don’t NEED to.
4. Engage in Self Care to Manage the Stress from Motherhood. As you identify ways to prioritize, consider how you can take care of yourself each day. 
- Take breaks – As you move from one activity to the next, sit still for 5 minutes. Don’t look at your phone or any other screen. Be still. Close your eyes or just be present with how you are feeling.
- Engage in relaxation techniques – Breathe deeply five times in a row as you concentrate on a happy moment that occurred at some point in your day/week/life.
- Distract yourself by looking at a funny youtube video or ticktock, calling a friend, taking a walk or getting a snack.
5) Accept Help to Reduce Stress From Motherhood
. As noted above, we can not do everything ourselves. Our support system can help with running errands, babysitting, cooking or enjoying fun activities with the family. You have family and friends in your life for a reason. Lean on them when you need to.
Being a mom is not for the faint of heart. It take bravery, strength, compassion, kindness, love and a sense of selflessness. Remind yourself that you are doing the best you can. Take it one step at a time while being kind and gentle to yourself. If you find that you need additional support, reach out.
Start Therapy to Help Reduce Stress From Motherhood in Baltimore, MD
If you are wanting to get additional support then we can help. Our Baltimore therapists specialize in treating anxiety in children. We can help them learn valuable skills that will help them cope in healthy ways throughout their life. To get started, follow these steps.
- Reach out for a free consultation at our Baltimore area therapy practice
- Schedule your first appointment for therapy
- Learn how to navigate motherhood, work through stressors and improve your overall quality of life.
Other Therapy Services We Offer in Maryland & the Washington DC Area
At Crystal Waters Counseling Centers we offer a variety of in-person and online therapy services. They are available for children, teens, college students, women, and adults throughout Maryland. This includes counseling for both anxiety and depression. As well as EMDR Therapy, therapy for life transitions, and parent coaching.