Teens today are faced with a variety of stressors that can be difficult to manage. As they begin to transition into young adulthood, they are faced with making decisions that can impact the trajectory of their lives including drugs, alcohol, sex, social media, friendships, and possible mental health complications. As a result of the pressures of adolescents, parents need to be equipped with the tools to attempt to understand their child while also holding them accountable and empathizing with their feelings. So, how do parents ensure communication is effective with your teen?
Understanding Your Teen
First, you need to understand teen problems before identifying effective communication skills. Teens work through a variety of new problems that generations past may or may not have had to understand.
Social Media
Let’s start with social media. Social media can be positive in that it promotes connectivity and commonality. Teens can share their interests with others and learn how to relate to one another on a technical level. However, social media can also carry negative messages and connotations.
Many teens suffer as they compare themselves to their peers either physically, emotionally, or cognitively. Teens look at posts and see instances in which they may have been left out of a certain social situation or may notice that other people their age have more experiences or fun than they do. When this happens, teens may look inward and assume that there is something wrong with them. They may think: Am I pretty enough? Am I fun enough? Do people like me? What do I need to change about myself so that I can be accepted?
These feelings of exclusion can lead to more significant negative self-talk and feelings of inadequacy. What teens do not recognize is that people tend to highlight the happy and impressive parts of their life. They don’t necessarily post the negative which paints a false picture of what an individual actually looks like. The constant comparison that teens engage in on social media platforms can cause a downward spiral if not closely monitored.
Screens
Along the same lines as social media, teens today engage in far more screen time than generations past. Like social media, screens can be educational and connective when used appropriately; however certain video games, youtubers, tik tok channels, and other such platforms can cause harmful effects. These entertainers attempt to sway the thinking patterns of teens as they post. Since teens are easily persuaded, they may easily adhere to the opinions of others despite the toxicity.
In addition, violence on screens can lead to increased aggression, apathy, and a lack of understanding of the consequences from aggressive behavior. In addition, there is an increased risk for mental health implications to include anxiety, depression, and PTSD. Recognizing the negative implications of screen time is necessary in moving forward to determine positive ways to communicate with your teen.
Friendships & School Related Stressors.
As you know academics and friendships are a large majority of a teenager’s life. They are learning to manage their time to complete assignments while balancing new friendships and relationships. A teen’s problem-solving skills are not as strong as that of an adult. Specifically, the prefrontal cortex of the brain which is responsible for problem-solving is one of the last parts of the brain to be developed. Therefore, teens may struggle to manage time, problem solve, or recognize when a particular friendship is toxic. Since relationships and academic success are important to many teens, parents need to be aware of how their child is managing these demands.
How Do You Communicate With Your Teen
Observe
As a parent, it is pivotal for you to be constantly watching. Observe your child’s moods, social interactions, familial interactions, grades, social media interactions, and overall mood. Who are their friends? What classes are they taking and how are they managing? What type of social media are they using? When there’s a particular stressor, how do they cope?
Check-In
Each day, you should be talking to your child about their day. It is common for teens to share little; however, it is necessary for you to be present and ask how they are doing. If they don’t give you a lot of feedback, stay close in proximity to them for at least 20 minutes. Something might come up, but if it doesn’t they know that you took the time. When checking in, ask specific questions:
- What did you and your friends talk about at lunch today?
- What are you working on in math class?
- Who is your favorite youtuber? Can you show me your favorite video?
Comment On What You See
If you notice something seems wrong, ask. Start by commenting on what you notice. For example, if your teen seems overly exhausted in the morning and their science grade dropped, say, “ I noticed that you seem really tired and your science grade dropped. Is everything ok? Can I help you with something?” Remind your teen that you are there to help them and they can use you as a resource.
Hold Them Accountable
Although it is obvious that teens have to manage a great deal, they need to be held accountable. If you find that your teen is not adhering to responsibilities, talk to them about it. Empathize with the fact that life can be difficult but remind them that they have responsibilities to uphold. If they do not follow suit, consequences should be given. Empathy and accountability should go hand in hand.
Have Fun
Find time to have fun with your teen. Part of parenting is building connections and enjoying your teen and their personality. They do not always want to be monitored and controlled. If you find the time to enjoy activities together, they will receive constructive feedback from you when necessary.
Final Thoughts From A Teen Therapist on Talking to Your Teen
Teens have a reputation for being difficult and not fun to be around; however, this does not always have to be the case. Be aware of their needs, keep the line of communication open and enjoy time with them in an effort to bond and understand their needs. It’s not always going to be easy but it will definitely be worth it.
Connect with a Therapist for Teens & Support Your Teen Through Therapy in Baltimore, MD
Adolescents go through a lot between school, friends, and transitioning into adulthood. A therapist for teens can help provide them with support as they sort through this difficult time. This additional support can also help foster communication between you and your teen. To learn more about therapy for teenagers at Crystal Water Counseling
- Reach out to schedule a free consultation
- Schedule an appointment for counseling for teens
- Get support as you work on communicating with your teen
Other Counseling Services I Offer in the Baltimore Area
At Crystal Waters Counseling we offer a variety of counseling services for children, teens, and adults. This includes support that is tailored to women, parents, and college students. Our caring therapists are here for you if you are going through a life transition or if you have been experiencing symptoms of anxiety or depression. Two of the counseling techniques that we use are play therapy and EMDR therapy. Reach out to see how we can support you!