As a family goes through a divorce, emotions can escalate at the holidays. Parents and children alike are navigating a new normal and need to figure out how to best manage the change and the emotions that coincide. In an effort to move forward in a proactive manner, parents should try the following.
How To Best Help Yourself as you Navigate Divorce at the Holidays
1) Be present with yourself. With the hustle and bustle of the holidays, feelings may arise that you may not notice. Give yourself time each day (even if it’s only 5-10 minutes) and check in with yourself. Figure out what has been joyful and what has been difficult. Acknowledging how you are feeling allows you to understand yourself better and why you may be reacting certain ways throughout a given day.
2) Understand that divorce is a loss. Even if you are happy that the relationship is over, there is still a change in how things were before. With loss can come feelings of grief which may include sadness and anger. These emotions may arise as traditions shift and schedules change. Allow yourself to feel the emotions when they come up.
3) Find joy from the past. Think about your holiday experiences when you were in your marriage. What was good, fun, joyful? This is part of your journey. Despite the fact that those memories are over, they still happened and were something positive that occurred.
4) Find joy in the present. What’s new now? What are you currently experiencing throughout the holiday that is enjoyable? Concentrate on it and make new traditions.
5) Know who you can reach out to and enjoy holiday time with as well as share emotions that surface. You may need to actively arrange social interactions if you are finding that you have more time to yourself. You could ask a friend to come over and watch a Christmas movie and have a beer. Or you may just need to vent. Whatever you need, ensure that you have people you can go to that know how to show up for you.
6) Figure out how to keep the peace with your ex. What do you want this holiday to look like? What battles are worth fighting? If you decide to fight a battle, identify what you want to get out of it and how you think your ex will respond. Keep confrontational statements out of it and attempt to negotiate in a way that will help you reach your goal.
How to Best Support Your Children As They Manage Divorce at The Holidays
- Communicate with your ex: It is important for parents to talk with each other regarding their plans for the holidays. This can help ensure that children have the opportunity to spend time with both parents, and can help prevent conflicts or misunderstandings.
- Create a schedule: Developing a schedule for the holiday season can help provide structure and clarity for both parents and children. This can include details about where and when children will be spending time with each parent, as well as any other important activities or events.
- Focus On The Needs of The Children: Think about what matters most to them. What traditions do they care about? What will keep the holiday memorable? Attempt to craft your time to ensure that their needs are met.
- Consider therapy: If managing the holidays is proving to be particularly difficult, it may be helpful to seek the support of a mental professional. A therapist at Crystal Waters Counseling Centers, LLC can provide guidance and support for both parents and children as they navigate the challenges of divorce during the holiday season.
By being honest with yourself and your needs while focusing on your children and theirs, you
will find that the holidays can be enjoyable. Expect that there will be moments when things are very difficult. Remember that divorce brings feelings of grief which can be erratic. Take the good with the bad, be kind to yourself and lean on others. By doing these things, you will make it through and find strength in the journey.
Start Therapy for Anxiety or Life Transitions in Baltimore, MD
If you are wanting to get support to help reduce your child’s anxiety then we can help. Our Baltimore child therapists specialize in treating anxiety in children. We can help them learn valuable skills that will help them cope with stress and anxiety in healthy ways throughout their life. In order to get started follow these steps:
- Reach out for a free consultation at our Baltimore area therapy practice
- Schedule your first appointment for children’s therapy
- Watch as your child learns how to navigate their fears and anxiety
Other Therapy Services We Offer in Maryland & the Washington DC Area
At Crystal Waters Counseling Centers we offer a variety of in-person and online therapy services. They are available for children, teens, college students, women, and adults throughout Maryland. This includes counseling for both anxiety and depression. As well as EMDR Therapy, therapy for life transitions, and parent coaching.